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"Vanilla" is a term used frequently by those, into more or less alternative lifestyles, for those, who - according to them - are not. The question however is, does "vanilla" actually exist and isn't vanilla actually the new sexual minority?
Let's face it: the we-get-married-live-happily-ever-after have-sex-2.5-times-per-week couple is rapidly becoming a rare phenonomemum in our modern society. Sex before marriage (almost unthinkable fifty years ago) is the current norm. Usually with multiple partners. Especially in the United States teenage mothers still in high school is no longer an exception (not meaning to say that this a a good sign!). More than half of the United States marriages end up in a divorce and this has brought us a new term: "serial monogamy". "Till death do us part" is a vow not many people will stick to these days and if they do it is far from uncommon to engage in such things as threesomes, swinging or simply do what modern day therapists call "spicing up your sexlife".
Is all this "uncommon" or "abnormal"? In terms of evolution actually not. In the end the human species is a mamal and monogomous mamals are indeed very rare. To a point there is evolutionairy logic to becoming pregnant as soon as you can. Why else would nature create fertility at a young age? Give a bonobo (an ape) a pencil and it is likely to draw a penis (yes they can and will, as scientific research has proven). And on the evolutionary calender of mankind things such as monogamy or even marriage make up for less than the last five minutes of that calender.
Can you honestly say you have never engaged in anything kinky?
There is no scientific research to provide a solid answer to that question. But my guess is that in our modern Western society very few people can honestly say they never have. In the current Internet age many - if not most - people at the very least have taken a (sneak)peak at porn-sites, engaged in an erotic chat or even exchanged some steamy email. Exposed belly buttons and navel piercings are common fashion statements and so are spiked leather collars, high heels, short skirts, revealing blouses and push-up bras. Not mention botox and breast implants.
Yes, a breast implant is a form of kinky sex. In the kinky world it is called body manipulation and in fact no different from a tattoo, a piercing, a branding or a scar. What actually is the difference between wearing make up and wearing a sexy leather skirt?
The answer is: your own perception - nothing else.
There's an old joke: "A dirty mind is a joy forever". As in most jokes there is wisdom in this one. The brain is the biggest sex organ. Some would argue it actually is the only one. And that is the whole point. Your own perception is what drives you. And if you want to "hip", "avant garde" or tendsetter? Well, maybe becoming "vanilla" again might be a wise choice.
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One of the signature symptoms of Andropause is erectile dysfunction (ED). An embarrassing, nerve-wrecking experience, ED is when a male cannot perform for his female partner. In layman’s terms, it is the inability to have an erect penis during sexual activity.
It is the primary issue amongst men in regards to their sex lives. Let’s become acquainted with how a full erection works and why this condition exists. Men under the influence of Andropause have erectile dysfunction no matter what’s on their mind. Thinking of a nude Playboy centerfold model would likely induce pleasant and sexual thoughts into a man.
Sexual thoughts, however detailed or brief they may be, are produced in the brain. After all, the brain is responsible for thinking. These sexual thoughts directly spark nerve signals down through the spinal cord and into the muscles of the penis. These nerves send a flow of blood running through the arteries in the penis while it is in a relaxed state, building pressure.
A man without Andropause can have a constant, steady flow of blood flowing to his penis arteries in a good amount. The more blood that flows down there, the harder and longer your erection will be! When sexual thoughts creep out of your mind and you’re focused on another activity, your penis returns to its relaxed state. We can guess Andropause sufferers are going to have to do something else rather than think about that nude Playboy model to obtain an erection!
Erectile dysfunction can attribute to psychological causes. Psychological causes can include having fear of our female partners (especially when it is a specific person with whom we feel shy with), depression, lack of self esteem, and cluelessness as to what to do with certain parts of the female anatomy. Our bodies are exposed ¨to the air¨ and we often times feel ashamed of what we look like to our partners. Mind thoughts and emotions that are pessimistic in nature not only affect your mental state, but the performance of your penis as well.
As with other medical conditions, the effects of impotence can be magnified if we do not follow a proper health regimen. The top dog in promoting erectile dysfunction is the use of drugs, particularly the cancer sticks you find over the counter – we all know which one that is. Cigarettes reduce the amount of blood flow to the penis. Undergoing surgery and prescription drugs also contribute to the problem, like tranquilizers, medications for seizures, beta blockers, and diuretics. Even a simple over the counter drug like NyQuil Cold & Sinus (a decongestant) can reduce blood flow to the penis, at least temporarily.
We’ve probably all seen those commercials before. You know, the one with Rafael Palmeiro (major league baseball player in his late 30´s) promoting the use of a special pill known throughout the globe as Viagra. Viagra is a staple of American culture – the subject of endless tonight show monologue jokes and a popular conversation topic anywhere. At a cursory glance, Viagra may seem like a sideshow attraction, but its been proven to be one of the most effective drugs you can take for erectile dysfunction.
Using Viagra requires a doctors prescription, but it is so readily available you can get away without one. Before considering going on this pill, maintain a healthy lifestyle and build up those testosterone levels naturally. Make a visit to your doctor to discuss a proper dosage and see if Viagra is right for you. Remember, there are many erectile dysfunction pills out there – the goal is to see which best suits your condition. Don’t fret over this condition – with the plethora of solutions and medications combating this problem, you’ll be sure to be fine in no time.
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Viagra is by far the most recognizable brand name and for the drug sildenafil citrate. It is produced and marketed by the pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, and is also sold under the name Ravatio and Caverta in certain locations throughout the world. Viagra is produced for one reason and one reason only, to treat erectile dysfunction, or as it's more commonly known, ED. It comes in the form of a blue pill in 25mg, 50mg, and 100mg dosages. Although it is available only by way of a doctor’s prescription, you can actually buy Viagra on the Internet if you so choose.
The drug Viagra wasn't even intended to treat what is so widely known for now, in the beginning. It Was designed in the 1990s with the for the purpose of treating a form of heart disease known as angina pectoris. It didn't work for the purpose it was intended, however, researchers of the drug noticed an interesting side effect of the drug at those who are testing it. It consistently induced erections.
They had a gold mine on their hands and they knew it. It was then patented in 1996 with the intention of development as a treatment for ED. By 1998 it had passed the necessary tests for FDA approval, and was released to the public where it was received with open arms and open legs.
Erectile dysfunction is a very common disorder in men, and is brought about by any number of factors. Some of the most common causes behind ED are psychological in origin, and some are equally based on physical abnormalities. The vast majority of men will find that they will have some difficulty getting or maintaining an erection at at one time or another, even though they may be perfectly healthy.
These are the instances where Viagra has proven to be very effective indeed. Some cases of ED can be caused by damage to the nervous system, diabetes, or hypogonadism, and in these cases Viagra may not be effective. If a doctor you to effectively screen new officers of questions to see if it can help you pay
Viagra is classified as a PDE5 inhibitor. Pretty fancy name isn't it? PDE5 causes a compound called cyclic GMP or cGMP to degrade. Since cGMP causes the arterial smooth muscles in the penis to relax, which will then allow the penis to become engorged blood which is how an erection is created. Stopping or restricting the action of PDE5 will result in penile erections if the individual has an otherwise clean bill of health. Some other PDE5 inhibitors available today include Levitra, and Cialis. You have probably heard of all of them because they advertise very aggressively for this lucrative market.
Viagra is not without side effects and some of them include headaches, stomach upset, flushing, and sweating. Viagra has been reported to also cause blurred vision in some cases, and in some rare cases have actually been reports of temporary blindness. Viagra should not be taken in conjunction with drugs designed for angina pectoris, combination can cause a serious drop in blood pressure that may be very dangerous. Even though it is available on the internet, it is always wise to consult a qualified physician before taking any drug, including Viagra.
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AS A RULE, young mother have lots of questions. A baby is so small, he requires constant care and attention, and you’re afraid of hurting him. Genital hygiene causes especially many troubles. As for girls, here we can make for ourselves. But we understand nothing about boys. Let’s learn this science by ourselves.
Genital hygiene should be treated very carefully since the very birth. Otherwise, strangury, different inflammations or problems in youth age can occur. In fact, there’s nothing difficult here, you just need to learn several simple rules.
Boys
During first week, boys can suffer from scrotum edema. Genitals look too big and swelled up. You should not be worried. This is connected with the fact that through placenta or breast milk an excessive quantity of maternal hormones penetrates into a new-born baby’s organism. As a rule, this edema disappears in several days. But if such edema still presents by the end of the second week, apply for a doctor immediately.
Intimate hygiene for boys means regular (while each change of a diaper) washing of genitals with warm water. Doing this, you should move a skin wrinkle (foreskin) off a head of a penis necessarily. Fatty substance (smegma) is accumulated there, which should be removed. If you see reddening on foreskin, then you need to cleanse it with a cotton tampon, moistened in a light (light-pink) manganese solution or bur-marigold extract several times a day.
Sometimes, foreskin can be very narrow and does not allow baring a head of penis completely. In such case, it’s desirable to apply for a doctor as soon as possible. As a rule, a surgeon just needs to make a small cut of a skin wrinkle. And the earlier he does such operation, the better.
If a baby has very sensitive skin, then you may sometimes do just “dry” washing with the help of wet or oiled tissues. You should wash a baby’s genitals with soap no less than once in 4-5 days.
Girls
In the end of the first week of a girl’s life you may notice mucous excreta or excreta with some blood. As a rule, they disappear by itself in 2-3 days. This is also connected with excessive amount of maternal hormones coming to a girls’ organism. During this period, a baby needs careful care. Diapers should be changed every 1,5-2 hours. If excreta still take place for more than 3 days, you need to apply for a doctor.
Girls’ genitals are very sensitive and have rather low resistibility to different infections. The most common “female” disease of new-born babies is vulvitis (inflammation of external genitals). So, keep them clean and warm all the time. Every time you change a diaper, wash your daughter with warm water. You can wash her either under tap or with a cotton tampon moistened in water. Move from pubis to coccyx, to prevent excesses of excrement from coming to genitals. Soap should also be used no more than once in 4-5 days, to prevent skin from getting too dry.
And yet, try not to take a great interest in babies’ cosmetics. Use various creams, oils and powders only in case of need (while irritations and diaper rashes), not regularly. Otherwise you will break a natural protective skin layer of a new-born.
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The Forest
As we drove farther into the outskirts of Augsburg, looking out placidly across the top of cars, houses, and at the dogs running about, I got thinking, thinking how I felt being with Chris, about Chris. It was like I was cast into a spell, an enchantment, or perhaps a curse; very seldom did I ever feel like this. Normally I would feel like this only if I was in the presence of a great person, like my karate instructor in San Francisco, Gosei Yamauchi, or his father ‘The Cat’ Gogan, who was one of the few 10th degree black belts in the world. Normally I’d be high the whole next day. With Chris I felt the same way I knew tomorrow I’d be high all day, it was a natural high.
Once—I can’t remember when—I had read something about the poet Emily Dickinson, she was something like a recluse, but she made a poem indicating nature was her high, and I always remember that. How true this can be, grabbing the moment and cherishing it, absorbing it as if there was no tomorrow, and at the same time absorbing nature: the sounds and the heart beat mother earth, and sky; others humans, and the dogs and birds, all such things that at that moment surround you; they are all somewhat magical. I was learning, how to be a listener if anything and it entailed all things within your presence.
Chris was fully alive now, as I turned my head towards her delectation her steering wheel facing me, at which made the moment a little more interesting, as she felt good about me checking her out; a weary kind of sense, not defeat, just a good profile look; I thought dimly in my mind as she drove mile after mile: how could she afford to look so prim and proper all the time. Do her hair in a unique style, not a hair out of place, so it seemed. I guess in our own way we are all unique, I heard that someone say that someplace, not sure where.
An hour and a half had passed on by and she was still driving, and it was getting dark. She pulled into a wooded area; she said it was the outer rim of the Black Forest (otherwise known as the Eyebrow of the Woods), I think I heard of that forest in a fairytale book or at least that is where my mind said I got it from. An enchanting name, I must had said it my second self, that little person inside of all of us that we talk to: Black Forest, Black Forest…!
“So you see,” said Chris “…here we are!” She added her conclusive little smile to her face as she said that; as we entered the dark huge green forest, parking the car a little off to the side of a dirt road that lead into the deeper and more distant part of the forest, partly covered by trees and bushes now.
There was a chill in the air so I rolled up the window, as she turned on the radio for some music.
Very quickly and carefully she moved her thin reserved neck and shoulders into my area, she just starred at me, as if she was going to eat me up; as her left arm was lowered, it pulled out a bottle of Mosel-Saar-Ruwer wine, 1965 wine, -- I looked the bottle over 9.5% volume; I knew they had been making wine around this intriguing river and hilly area for close to 1700-years. It was good wine I had tasted it before, not sweat or dry, flowerily white wine to be exact.
“Now,” said Chris indignantly, but with the air of a certain point, “…let’s see what we can do with this battle.
We started to drink and laugh.
“Ah, yes,” I said to her, “you have a lovely profile.” She smiled and threw her head back.
“Well,” I thought out loud “… this is a good way to pass the night away, and begin romantic indecencies”-- she leaned over the center-divider of the bucket seats to kiss me. She opened her mouth, sunk her lips on mine, as she pulled her long legs to the under-part of the dash, she then started to unzip her zipper to her boots.
“This,” commented Chris “passes everything…I never did it in a car before.” She had drunk down 1/5 of the wine like a person drinking water.
“Chick,” said Chris, ”…come over here.”
I moved my body closer to hers. Everything seemed to be in the way. I could not back out of whatever was going to happen; and I knew what was in the makings.
She was starting to stretch her hands out: --her blouse went over her head, I just kept looking as she started to strip, I was growing, getting as hard as a pencil.
“Oh, damn Chick,” said Chris heartily as she touched my item. Just her saying that aroused me; then pulling off her bra, and her skirt up I seemed to become tranquilized somehow, my mind slipped to King Solomon, of all things, as he once defined the beauty of a woman’s body and how it was to measured for one’s pleasure by enjoying it fully, and this was all I wanted to do now—enjoy it, and I think Chris was feeling the same way for even though we were both a bit on the tipsy side we were fully aware of our responses, I had lost complete focus of the uncomfortable situation, as she did…
◊…now that she was almost completely stripped only her panties on, she curled up in a fetus position holding her legs and leaning back, then opened up her legs slowly… I thought what every on earth possessed her, yet who can predict women I told myself, and started to take off my cloths, quickly…getting out of this spill of sorts. I guess it is true, men like to observe, and women like to touch. I liked both. This was not dirty sex, this was pure sex, at its height, one might even say, it was like a painting; she painted the picture, she taught me how to enjoy what she had to offer.
“I’m going to get it all off in a minute,” I said, it was difficult working in this cramped space… she chuckled, “Slowly please, I can wait…”she softly said as she rested her head back and I caught my breath, that is what she wanted, that is, for me to calm down, yet remain hard and possessed with her offering: I think we both had multiorgasms
“I feel fine now –“ I said, adding, “cramped but fine…☺”
Chris opened up her arms I couldn’t back away after that, could I?
I told myself: I have a private room at the barracks…. Then said it out loud to her:
“Of course, -- next time…” said she, and we continued to make love for the third orgasm for me, for her, perhaps five or six.
We seemed to flop around the front seat finding the right position…’she‘s looking at me eeeeeeeee’, I told myself, I’m cramped, nothing to grab a hold of, her head leaning against the glass of the window. Without a word we continued: --my body heavy onto hers, my heart beating two-hundred ticks a minute, we both were hot, enmeshed in the moment, a lustful, and burning moment; I wanted to open the door, but feared the light going on and someone would see us, plus the air was cool, too cool. I had no escape we met each other’s eyes as I penetrated her. She looked again deep into my eyes as she tried to catch her breath, to make sure I was still alive I think. It was seemingly unfair for me to put her through this I thought, but the thought only lasted a half second, I found myself exploding … as my heart dropped to my feet, and again, and again, I exploded and burned as if I had opened myself up to a volcano; I had learned at that moment, the difference between happiness and pressure: happiness was listening to her talk before, and then came her smile, now the pleasure, sex; I hurt, this had never happened before.
“Nice evening, isn’t it?” I said as I started pulling her body closer to me.
“I hope you are not offended I am taking the lead?” said Chris.
“Not at all,” I said, adding, “I’ll catch up.”
“There are times,” said Chris, “when rules are made to be broken like now, them...mmm damn silly rules…” she pulled herself up a bit, “I stopped believing in those rules… this is one of those moments I want to remember…remember for a long time, even after I am dead.”
As we tried to untwist our bodies, we caught ourselves laughing at our odd situation. We had made love, and became a little more sensitive with each other…a little more possessive of each other, I guess that is the nature of things in a relationship, they are made to progress, or stop, one or the other, and it was never to take place again in the front seat of a Mustang I knew….
She laid her cheek against my hand.
“Chick.”
“Yes?”
“You realize don’t you, this can’t end here?”
“There’s no reason for it to end, is there?”
“No.”
She spoke some German words I didn’t understand, German mingled with English I should say: then somehow, she went silent…maybe she was taking time to remember the moment, digesting it; I didn’t know, nor did I want to try to guess, I just looked at her, her smile it seemed to promise something, grace; instinct was in it also, around her small enclosed eyes, as they opened and shut slowly they were weaving a web I do believe, “It won’t end here, I promise.”
Pleasant and agreeable-like a well-cultured woman she was, maybe too much for me, she opened the door, and dressed quickly, then got back in.
“Want a cigarette?” I asked, sitting up straight.
“No and neither do you. We are both restless it seems. Come over to me,” she started kissing me.
As she released her lips from mine, she sat upright now, pulled out a cigarette, lit it and started blowing smoke rings into the air.
“You know perfectly well, I’m very much attracted to you…yoouuuu… right?”
“I hope so, I feel the some way.”
“Luckily the wine deadens the bruises (discoloration).” I commented, she laughed and kind of stretched her back to put it back in place…”Me to,” she replied.
“I wish all relationships could start like ours, it is like saying let’s drop all the game playing and pretend we are on the fifth date, and cut the crap; I like you Chick, I like you very much…”
“The bruises will show up tomorrow,” I told Chris.
Kind of saying maybe we should go, but neither one of us seemed to be all that bothered with that so we simply started kissing again after her cigarette brake…it was a long and needed pause for me, for a second breathe, a refractory period I needed [from uninterrupted sex]; that is, having multiple orgasms drains a man. I’ve learned also, women don’t need this rest period; so in time I’d learn how to last longer, and perhaps stretch the orgasms thinner but again, longer (three hours at the most; and I did).
I thought in my head, she was having sex with me, and then that rich boyfriend she had; she was getting her multiorgasmic pleasures indeed, perhaps a secret to some women, for once they discover this, it is hard for any man to keep up with them, lest he be a superman of sorts. I did not even at that young age have the capacity to pass six organisms; five was my limit I learned. I was limp now; my penis had been as pointed as a scorpions tail a while ago.
As scary as it started out for me I thought my reactions afterwards was cool, I seemed to be letting things take their natural course. It was a dark and colorless evening. Grossly romanticized in such an unimpressive way (so I thought in the back of my mind), yet Miss Chris was perfect.
I thought to myself: maybe she might be annoyed with my lovemaking… I guess every man wants to please the woman, wife, girlfriend, the one he is making love to, or should want to please her, but most don’t; how can they, they pop too quickly. This is a fact, I’ve talked to men, and when they say they go so quick, no woman could get it on in that time period. A woman taught me how to hold myself from climaxing too early, thus allowing the woman to catch up—and therefore, allowing my female mate to get it on and enjoy. I know this evening went a little fast, but Chris was modest about it, like that other woman who had taught me, helped me, to help her, so we both could enjoy each other more; as my slowing down kept my penis hard longer, allowing her pleasure zone to become wider. This was something of the case in hand, but not completely.
Most men think they make love better drinking, but it’s far from the truth. Most men do not know how to make love, no one taught them, so all they do is f*ck, and that is not love, that is, if anything, a quick climax, like eating a big fat burger, and wiping your mouth in its enjoyment and then leaving the café only to find out: you got indigestion, and had you went to a nicer restaurant, ate slower, you’d never forget the meal.
I have experimented with that theory, and it is nine-minutes verse four-hours, I say four hours, but I knew in my head it was only one time I lasted four hours, two and a half was the norm.
I was thinking now—as Chris kissed me—how I owe some women a bit of gratitude for allowing me to have my pleasure and not returning it to them; that’s the caretaker in a woman I think. But women just don’t know men can learn. And men are too bull-headed to let women teach them what pleases them. I had learned a good lover was worth his weight in gold and even maybe a little more: sometimes they can be irresistible.
One could hardly tell her it wasn’t hastily done, our sex (to me it was) for it was, but she seemed to understand the circumstances, and we need not prove anything today, only allow our bodies to be sanctioned to the other. So I think we both felt. Lovemaking would improve as time went on.
“I’m afraid my lover, we will have to find better accommodations next time,” Chris said, smiling at me.
“Yes,” I hesitated, “absently,” I hesitated-- “I feel the same way.”
“It’s a little hard in such a cramped car luckily we are both a little tipsy….”
“I’m afraid I’m not, somehow I sobered up when you took your blouse off.” She smiled, with a grin.
“Yes. I sense you have, do you really like me Chick?”
“You are growing on me. And what is there not to like?”
She was like a schoolgirl at times, needing to be encouraged, to grow up, and needed to be admired. But she didn’t need permission to live, she was taking that—but I’m learning to appreciate women more, I told myself, and it seems the more I show appreciation, the more they respect me, and to be quite frank with myself, I need respect. And why not … the world will give it, if you demand it, and if not, let that part of the world go; so my second self, my mind’s eye, told me.
But then as I looked at her, if she really felt she was on death row, with cancer, maybe I was just a remedy for a while, and if so, so what, maybe I needed a remedy to make it through my time here in Germany; so seemed just to me.
8
The Spider and
The Web
A warm-wind had picked up it seemed, and April and May in Germany was a paradise of light-cool sunrays, it was a spring never to forget, Chris and I were growing on one another, like white on rice. More community drinking fairs were picking up and Chris and I tried to make a few, drink it up and eat and just go with the flow; it was a good time for living.
Chris and I were known throughout the guardhouse-barracks as lovers and a heat wave at that. She seemed to have a charm with my soldier friends, and often drove her German boyfriend’s Mercedes car to the gate, and about, showing off kind of, not only to me, but it seemed at times going out of her way to show it to the other guards. Most of my friends thought she had two cars, I simply did not up date them, if they were not in my way of thinking or inner circle—why squander my time; and in most cases they didn’t have a need to know; but Ski and a few other of my friends knew the truth. I felt: plus, I felt: why not let Chris make an impression at the guard shacks, if it helps her ego so be it. I do not think I was envious, rather amused. I’m sure somewhere along the line I’d have to deal with envy, but who at my age is envious, for what, I have a lifetime to catch up.
She flirted with the guards, and they all thought it cool. At night, if I had to work, she would bring me by a sandwich while on duty; in one way she got the guys a little jealous, or in lack of a better word, annoyed. And sometimes she would simply walk into barracks, which had about fifteen-guards some running around half naked from the shower room to their room, while others went visiting. She’d come knocking on my door. She’d spend the night with me, it was an improvement from the car, and for some reason we only went over to her house once in the following two months. I knew we were not fooling anyone at the guard-barracks, but we pretended to be secret about it anyway.
