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Tantra is a spiritual tradition that originated in India some 4,000 years ago. It is a way of life that celebrates and strives for the union of body, mind, heart and soul. Tantra is a form of yoga. Yoga means union. The ultimate purpose of Tantra is the union of lovers, and ultimately union with the Divine. In the Tantric tradition, sexuality and spirituality are joined. Lovers actually invite God into their bed!
Many cultures have a variation of this challenging and delightful practice, the Taoists in China and the Cheyenne in North America. There are differences in these practices, but all forms of sacred sexuality share the intentional cultivation and use of sexual energy for spiritual growth, healing, creativity and enhanced pleasure.
The practices of Tantra were first introduced to the west in the 1800s, but a Tantric revival in the ashrams of India during the late 1960s has led to a gradual popularization of these practices in Europe and North America. Recent testimonials by celebrity musicians and movie stars like Sting and Woody Harrelson have promoted it and Tantra is becoming the sexual learning of choice for those who want to have it all: a passionate sex life, a healthy body, and spiritual growth.
Tantric lovemaking involves breathing exercises, muscle contraction exercises, sound, visualization, affirmations, creating a sacred loving space and other ceremonial practices, meditation, sensual massage, and sexual play. In order to build a high sexual energy charge and to move into ecstatic states of divine connection Tantric lovers extend lovemaking over several hours, experiencing extraordinary levels of pleasure along the way.
Part of the delight of Tantra is that you can continue to learn and advance throughout years of practice; it is never-ending in its potential for growth. At the same time, it is a practice that yields immediate results. You can experience a difference in your lovemaking right now if you follow these nine simple steps.
Tantric Loving Step by Step
1. Intention
Regular lovemaking has a goal, orgasm. If you both come at the same instant, many believe this is as good as it gets. However, this approach often results in a great deal of frustration and performance anxiety. With Tantric sacred loving there is no goal, but there is a purpose, union. Your intention is to merge with your lover in all aspects, body, mind, heart and soul, not just body. You can help this along by looking at your lover differently, by seeing your partner as a god or goddess, as a living expression of the divine. Look for the glory, the beauty and the wonder in your playmate and in yourself and let that shine.
2. Creating a Sacred Loving Space
Set the mood; transform any ordinary space, bedroom, living room, etc., into a sacred space. It takes only a few minutes and costs little or nothing. The important thing is your intention, not the specific items you use. First, clean the room; vacuum, dust, and put away any clutter lying about. In the evening dim the lights and use lots of candles. Bring in plants or fresh cut flowers. A bowl of fruit is very sensual. You may wish to have a bottle of wine to share. Bring special objects that have emotional importance for into the room. Make up a lover's bed using your finest clean linens (silk is exquisite) and have lots of pillows handy.
When you have finished creating the space, take a few moments to purify it energetically. That means consciously sending away negative or fearful thoughts and feelings, and inviting in those that are joyous, passionate and safe. Create your own rituals with sweet grass, incense, and musical instruments.
3. The Lover's Purifying Bath
Cleanse each other in preparation for your joyous union. Wash away the dirt and cares of the world. A hot bath with essential oils and bath salts is perfect, especially if you can both fit into the tub at the same time. A shower is the next best thing, but perfectly acceptable. The essential thing is to be squeaky clean. After all you will be eating off that skin! Make the bath a slow, luxurious affair giving complete attention to your lover. Wash and dry each other with playful abandon. Men shave or trim facial hair and apply scent. Women apply their best perfumes and lotions. Sensually prepare your bodies for the delights ahead.
4. Honor, Respect and Permission
Trust, surrender and opening your heart are essential if you want to reach the heights of bliss. It is not just technique that will get you there. You must join together as loving equals on the sexual journey.
Men, think of the yoni (vagina) as a potential opening, don’t ever take your lady for granted! Speak softly how much you adore, love and respect her as you gently blow on her ears and nibble on her ear lobes. Let her know that you think of her constantly and how strong your desire is to make love with (not to) her. Also, let her know that you invite her to awaken sexually and to express her sexuality fully. Let her know that you are NOT caught in that tired old cultural conditioning that still insists "good girls" do not enjoy sex, the Madonna/Whore split. Make her believe you when you tell her that you know she can be all she wants to be: a successful career woman, a respectful daughter, a faithful wife, a caring mother, a passionate lover and a sincere spiritual seeker all at the same time. Tell her how beautiful she is, how wonderful she smells, and all the things you appreciate most about her. Finally, ask permission to be her passionate Tantric lover.
Ladies, let your man know that he is safe! He may act macho and tough, showing little emotion, but inside most men are afraid of emotional intimacy. The tougher a man acts the greater this fear of trusting and surrendering will be. Let him know that you admire his strength, but that it also turns you on when he allows himself to be vulnerable by showing his feelings. Tell him how handsome he is and how talented. Mention all the things you like most about him. Tell him why you love him so deeply. Tell him how much you think about him when he is away, and how you have fantasies about making love with him and touching him when he returns. Make him believe that you really want him sexually. Finally, ask permission to be his passionate Tantric lover.
5. Foreplay
Two simple ways to tune into each other are harmonizing your breathing and gazing deeply into each other's eyes. By matching your breathing rhythms and making soulful eye contact you connect emotionally and energetically as well as physically. Begin to explore each other's bodies with wonder, lust and playfulness.
Remember, in Tantric sacred loving there is no goal. You are not trying to get somewhere. Each touch is complete in and of itself. Once you master how to work with your sexual energy both lovers will discover they can have orgasms just by touching fingers together, or looking into each other's eyes across a crowded room! So men are not in a hurry to get at the woman's breasts or into her yoni. When touching her body, start at the extremities, fingers and toes, and work in toward the hot spots. Go slowly! Generally men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time, but women usually only enjoy having their breasts and genitals touched after they are already sexually excited from other touching, stimulating conversation, or emotional connection. Make sure the woman is well lubricated before any attempt at intercourse. If possible, help her to have a clitoral orgasm before moving on to intercourse.
6. Intercourse
Five to fifteen minutes of lovemaking is usually not satisfying for women. Men can learn to delay ejaculation so that lovemaking can be extended for hours. A man can delay ejaculation for weeks or months at a time, not just during one lovemaking session. A man who masters his ejaculation response can separate orgasm from ejaculation and become a multi-orgasmic-man! Such a man can last long enough in lovemaking so that his female partner will have enough time to also have multiple orgasms.
Although Tantric loving lasts several hours, this does not mean you are having active intercourse during that entire time. Intercourse is interspersed with touching, oral play, quietly holding each other, dancing, massage, etc. It is a good idea for a man to allow his erection to subside every 30-45 minutes to exchange the blood supply and recharge his oxygen and hormone levels in the lingam (penis).
7. Moving Your Energy: The Passion Pump
Riding the wave of bliss happens when the lovers become totally aroused sexually, maintaining that arousal for a period of time. They build up intense hot sexual energy. For the man, if this energy has nowhere else to go, there will be such great pressure in the prostate, that it will go into involuntary spasm and ejaculation will end the lovemaking. However, with a combination of breathing, relaxation, and muscle contraction exercises both men and women can learn to circulate sexual energy through their own and their lover's body. Ultimately the ego boundaries disappear and the lovers become one in ecstatic union.
The muscle contraction exercise is very simple. If you were urinating and stopped the flow of urine in mid-stream you would be contracting exactly the right muscles in exactly the right way. This squeezing and relaxing of muscles around your genitals is called the PC Pump. It's the first and most important exercise in learning to circulate your sexual energy.
At the peak of sexual arousal, either during intercourse or manual/oral stimulation stop your normal lovemaking movements and focus on moving the sexual energy that's pulsing in your genitals. Move it up and through your body. Use slow, deep abdominal breathing to keep your body relaxed. Add the PC pumping action and visualize moving energy up your body in a ball of fire or a wave of light or a current of electricity. Through your eyes, your hands, your genitals pass this powerful force on to your lover. At first, this may seem difficult because we are not accustomed to paying attention to our internal energy. With practice, you will be able to recognize and direct it.
8. Afterplay
Regular lovemaking usually ends (often abruptly) when the man ejaculates, but Tantric sacred loving often ends while the lovers still have desire. This assumes the man has some mastery over his ejaculation response so that ending lovemaking is a conscious choice, sometimes including ejaculation, sometimes not. With Tantric loving you wind down your lovemaking with slow caresses, words of endearment and honoring each other with food and drink.
9. Sharing Wine, Food and Other Sensual Pleasures
The sharing of good food, wine and other intoxicants, sensual massage, dressing up in costumes and playing sexual games are part of the ancient Tantric tradition. While Tantra is serious, it need not be heavy. Lighten up; be playful, lusty and daring!
Tantra lovers know that they are personally responsible for their own sexual fulfillment and their own spiritual progress. This may be especially important for men. Many men experience a great deal of performance anxiety. But even the greatest, most sensitive, highly skilled Tantric lover cannot make a woman have orgasms. She must be able to go to that place in herself that is orgasmic. Sexual/spiritual ecstasy has little to do with control. It requires trust, surrender and letting go. Both lovers must learn to do this. If there is some psychological work to do before you will allow yourself to open in this way, then get on with it! In the meantime, please each other with the preparation, serving and consumption of fine food and drink. Lavish each other with touching in sensual massage. Dress up (and down) for each other. Take on different personalities with different costumes; wear masks. Play and laugh together. Celebrate your spirit through your sexuality. Open your heart. Let your lover in and your love out!
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Sexually Transmitted Diseases, known as STD, is the most common, and a very large number of people are affected with it. Irrespective of age and gender, it is affecting both the male and females equally. At least 80% of the people are suffering from the STDs, and if not taken care at the initial stages, it grows into STDs. Worldwide there are around 40 million people suffering from HIV Positive; half of the number is women. It is spreading like epidemic. Sources are not sufficient to stop it. Teenage boys and girls are rapidly falling into this and increasing the number day by day. The alarmingly growing number is the matter of grave concern and governments of respective countries are very worried about this.
Unprotected and unsafe sex is the main cause of getting infected. Sexual intercourse without using condom, oral sex, or the faulty use of condom is spreading STDs. The only way to safety is prevention. You must watch the signs and symptoms of the STDs. Often there are no symptoms, but any change in body and some symptoms like abnormal bleeding, foul smell in vagina, unusual discharge from penis or vagina, burning sensation while urination, itching and swelling in testicals or vagina, mouth sores, warts or some transparent blisters around the vaginal area or testicals or pale skin and eyes, or unexplained tiredness, may be because of the diseases like, Syphilis, Gonorrhea Hepatitis (viral), Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), or Genital Warts. These are all different types of sexually transmitted infections.
People who are having sexual intercourse with more then one partner, or multiple partners are more prone to STDs. Intercourse without using condoms can manifests it in many folds. The latex condom is a shield, which prevents these viruses to transmit to other partner. Although, it is not hundred percent safe but it is the safest prevention. Make sure to use the condom, before every sexual encounter. Surprising facts from different surveys reveal that many people in spite of knowing that they are suffering from STDs, do not stop having sex with their partners, neither they tell them, nor they use condoms. It is more dangerous with the people who are in multiple sex activities. Oral sex, anal sex or the normal intercourse, all carry these STD infections. Even a single sex encounter can transmit the infection. Have sex with the partner, who you know is not infected. Use condom before every sexual act. Be aware. Save yourself from STDs.
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Let’s just say you read my first journey, “The Lonely Road to Destiny”, you will know how we have come to this place now. Consequentially, it should then be of no surprise where the road began and quite possibly, where I may be heading. I’ve traveled a tough road of challenging turns and learned that wherever it is that I might be heading, a lonely road lay before me. No matter what the case might be, I, like you perhaps, must travel this road through life alone living and dying by the decisions that we make day to day.
Some of us will find that companion that completes us and some will not. I, don’t believe in that particular coupling for myself and so my life shall go. Alas, the pain of life itself and those that surround you, consume you, or draw the goodness from you, evolves. The travels of life take you upon journeys. Some of us know not from where we begin, where we are, or where it is that we are to go. For me, my book, “The lonely Road to Destiny” ended August, 2002. I now pick up where we left off. Our last journey was that of an unfolding story. This one shall be different. This time we shall share in ideologies. This time I shall share the lessons and not so much the unfolding story.
The pain that comes from traveling the path is different for everyone. If we look through an open eye, we see the purpose that dominates our destiny. I discovered that purpose along the traveled path, circa March 2005. I came to the conclusion why we all do what we do. We do it for love. It dominates our life. We are either looking for it, in it, out of it, hurting from it, hiding from it, or wishing it was more a part of our life. We all feel this way. All of these other things around us are furnishings, furnishings that provide comforts, luxury, and what we perceive to be “happiness” and “success”. In this pursuit for this thing called, “love”, we sacrifice many different things. Sometimes it is our character. Other times it is the values that we hold so dear to us (if in fact we have such a virtue). Still others is our comfort zone that protects us from being hurt from the last encounter, whether we were careless with our heart or someone else was. These matters of the heart are delicate ones. They are to be handled with ‘kit gloves’. The heart is the weak link in a chain of reason and logic. The heart serves no real purpose in our lives short of tempting us with the fruits of what we think or perceive to be the attainment of ‘happiness’. This very desire, the very hunger to attain the ownership of this most prized possession called love, drives us to do the unimaginable. Reprehensible things. At times, it drives us to compromise our beliefs in God, our belief in doing what is believed to be ‘right and wrong’, it drives us to become so insane and miscalculated in our deduction and evaluation of reason and sensibility. But then again, when was love ever a sensible thing?
I decided that my path is not the answer to life but more of a message. In my own strange way of reasoning, it is why I was put here. It is why I will die. Perhaps, it will be what I die from. Who can tell? But, the last 2 years of my life has served me to evolve: To evolve into a messenger and a kind of a ‘prophet’. Love warps the mind, the body, and the soul.) It is why great kingdoms have fallen, great men have dropped to their knees, or people of government have gone into disarray. Behind every scandal, behind every action that has driven a man to do maddening things, there is a temptress somewhere pulling the strings. Now this fault and the blame sits directly an squarely upon the shoulders of no one else but us….the men! It shows how weak minded we really are and how easily we can be swayed when under the smell of lust, love, or whatever you would like to call it!
Now relax, I don’t hate women. HOWEVER, men have gotten the bad rap and the name for years. And behind a cloak of secrecy and deceit, women have played the same game. NOT ALL WOMEN!!! But look around you. These days, most have succumbed to the world in which we now live. A world driven by the lust and desire to gather material things, items, and worldly possessions, all of which have no place or purpose in the pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. I see it in my home town all the time. Married women driving around in their husband’s gas guzzling hummers, sipping mocha latte’s and crappuccinos, pushing strollers, buying excessively, and bringing home the receipts to the idiot coming home providing all these ridiculous luxuries. WHY? Are these women really happy? Are these men concluding that they are ‘providing’ for their women? Who the hell knows!
Perhaps the reason, above all, that my words reflect an heir of frustration, anger, or bitterness is because of the wrong done to me by the women in my life………..OBVIOUSLY! Why the anger? Why the frustration you ask? Well, it is quite simple yet obnoxiously complex at the same time: The perfect marriage of provable conclusion and illogical paradox. Where logic fails to prove, ‘love’ comes to rear its ugly head, defying all that is logical, reasonable, mathematically sound, or sensibly thought out. Love defies every equation of perfect synergy, irrefutable accuracy, and unimaginable reality. It crosses boundaries of the thinking man’s mind and makes us do dumb things without fear of cause or consequence, right or wrong, logical or illegitimate.
And how do you ask, does this all take place? How does this perfect little game, this infinite circle of madness begin? It begins with that single twinkle. That little butterfly that begins to fly around in the darkest corner of the stomach that tells our pee-wee brains that this might be a ‘good idea’. Or maybe, it’s that son-of-a-bitch of a penis that convinces us that we MUST meet this person. Of course, we all know that once you dump the "jerk-off juice" out of the system, logic and reasoning returns. God’s cruel joke on us men!
Nearly 2 years ago, I stepped off the path of the lonely road, detouring for what I thought was a pathway to a different ending. But unfortunately and not inconsistent with my expectations, as I’ve known all along, for me the path (my path) is so evident and clear. My path to destiny is a lonely one. Not one that I’ve asked for or have brought about on my own through self prophecy, but one that has been assigned to me by a force in this universe above and beyond a sense of reasoning or understanding. Don’t ask why, I don’t know! It is just one of those things we are born with. One of those things that we know and we know not why! It is one of the those inconceivable truths that we cannot hide from. For me, it is the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. It is as non bending as the North Star being in the, well, north. It is what I was born to know and just is. And some things that are will just be.
As we ask those universal questions, “Why me” or “What did I do to deserve this”, the forces of nature continue to guide us to and through the outcomes and take us places that we need to go, whether or not we understand why.
My latest travels down the path of life caused me to encounter unique lessons that will undoubtedly stay with me for all my life, adding more mystery to that universal question of, “Why”?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I like nice things, aspire to gather ‘items’ of value and importance, but NOT at the cost of my character, my integrity, my honor, or my name! I never compromised my beliefs in who I am, what I was put here to do, or put my professional or financial interests above that of the people that seek my help in my expertise area of sciences. And now, through my travels of business, love, and the learned path that I have traveled these past 31 years, I share this wisdom so that together we may learn. (And you didn’t think a 31 year-old-man knew anything!! Shame on you!)
To be continued....if you dare to read on!
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"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote." Quotation and Originality 1876 Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American poet and essayist
Should we express our own thoughts in our own words? Or should we delight in repeating the sentiments of others? Disraeli, Johnson, Behan, Churchill, Wilde, and Emerson all voice their opinions in quotes on quotes. Even the book of Proverbs stakes out a position.
* "The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation." Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) British politician and statesman
* "Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world." Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, critic
* "A quotation in a speech, article or book is like a rifle in the hands of an infantryman. It speaks with authority." Brendan Francis Behan (1923-1964) Irish author and poet
* "It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations." Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, soldier, and author
* "Every quotation contributes something to the stability or enlargement of the language." Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, critic
* "Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it." Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American poet and essayist
* "He is a benefactor of mankind who contracts the great rules of life into short sentences, that may be easily impressed on the memory, and so recur habitually to the mind." Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author, critic
* "A man finds joy in giving an apt reply, and how good is a timely word." Proverbs 15:23
With all those persuasive pro-quote quotations, you might think the non-quote crowd would run up a white flag and admit their mistake. Not so fast. They've got their advocates too!
* "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish author and wit
Not only Oscar Wilde, but Emerson too. Yes, the same Ralph Waldo Emerson who praised quotes, also said: "I hate quotations, tell me what you know."
Still others find humor in quotes:
* "I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation." George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright and critic
* "What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?" Doctor Who
So, where do you take your stand? All in all, I side with the Disraeli - Johnson pro-quote gang. Quotes, at their best, are either funny tidbits or juicy little morsels of wisdom or inspiration. Sample these witty quotes from Will Rogers, Mark Twain, and Oscar Wilde and try not to smile.
* "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." Will Rogers
* "He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity." Mark Twain
* "As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied." Oscar Wilde
Would you like to discover the secrets of human nature? Antoninus, Bacon, Outlaw, Churchill, Colton, Publilius Syrus, and Barrie unlock the mystery with these insights and warnings:
* "Our life is what our thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (188-217)
* "Chiefly the mold of a man's fortune is in his own hands." Frances Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, essayist, and statesman
* "Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."
Frank Outlaw
* "Success is going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm." Sir Winston S. Churchill (1874-1965) British statesman, soldier, and author
* "No company is preferable to bad. We are more apt to catch the vices of others than virtues, as disease is far more contagious than health." Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) Writer, author
* "Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so is he." Maxim 1073 Publilius Syrus (first century)
* "Life is a long lesson in humility." James M. Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish dramatist, novelist
Wilson Mizner (1876-1933) once said: "Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest." Point well taken, Mizner. So perhaps a few "words to live by" quotes will make our burden a little lighter and guide us along the path. Churchill, Lombardi, Hazlitt, Jesus, Johnson, Proverbs, and Lincoln volunteer their advice.
* "Never, never, never, never give up." Sir Winston S. Churchill
* "The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence." Vince Lombardi (1913-1970) American football coach
* "If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory." William Hazlitt (1778-1830) English essayist
* "Do to others as you would have them do to you." Matthew 7:12 Jesus Christ (c.6B.C.- c.A.D.30)
* "Whatever you have, spend less." Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English author
* "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else and not your own lips." Proverbs 27:2
* And Abraham Lincoln sums our best of the best wisdom quotes with: "Whatever you are, be a good one."
For fun, inspiration, or wisdom in a nutshell, it's hard to beat a good quote. Can your memorize one per day? Give it a try! Quotations just might become a lifelong love affair.
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So, does penis size matter for women?
Yes, penis size does matter, but not in the way that you may think.
After asking several hundred women over 18 years old, sizes, ethnicities, and sexual habits, 82% of these women answered that were happy with a penis that was big enough to satisfy them, which averaged at about 6 inches, that is just about the average penis size for men. Of course, there was a small percentage (9%) who wanted a penis that was larger than average (7 to 8 inches). Fewer women (2%) said that they preferred huge-sized penises (larger than 10 to 12 inches).
Penises much larger than average can cause some difficulties during sex. In fact, many women who dated men with abnormally larger penises complained that they weren't able to comfortably enjoy certain sexual positions, nor were they able to adequately give oral sex.
But... when asked whether length or girth was more important, most women opted for girth, as they claimed to enjoy the feeling of a thick penis against their vaginal walls rather than having an unusually long penis poking against their insides. The length has to be proportional to the width. And what would that be? I suppose that would be the average.
Other important things:
56% expect a penis to more or less match the complexion of the rest of a man's body.
23% expect a penis to feel very smooth.
21% weren't very happy about an abundance of veins.
So, if you're below average, you have two options:
- there are other ways in which to satisfy your woman, so explore your options;
- you can also try some methods to enlarge your penis...
