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Concurring with my good friend and brother, Rev. Phil Valentine (metaphysician out of New York), the female menstrual cycle is normal, but NOT natural. As the human body has the innate capabilities to adapt to pathologies, irregularities, and abnormalities, the female body (ever since the Great fall nearly 6,000 years ago and which has absolutely nothing to do with a fictitious Biblical character named Eve) has adapted to the pathology of menstruation and now uses this process as a cleansing method to rid the female body of toxins and waste. The female body has taken that which is unnatural (to bleed and lose the vital life essence) and converted that process into a normal female body function. Because of the menstrual cycle, women now have an additional eliminative channel in the vagina, bringing their total to six major eliminative channels (colon, lungs, kidneys, liver, skin, and vagina). It is because of this sixth eliminative channel that rids the female body of unnecessary waste and toxins that women generally outlive men by seven years.
Why is menstruation considered a dis-ease? Because it is not natural in nature or the wild (free). It is rare to find a mammal that lives and eats according to the laws of Nature to have a menstrual cycle. Have you ever witnessed a female horse, gorilla, elephant, buffalo, monkey, hippopotamus, giraffe, zebra, rhinoceros, or cow having a menstrual discharge? Don't you think corporate and greedy man would have devised feminine pads and tampons for these animals to prevent the spilling and dropping of excessively large amounts of blood? Why of course corporate man would have, just like he did for Western and civilized woman so that she could continuously battle in the war zone called corporate America that was originally designed for white males. Man created pads and tampons for career females so that the menstrual cycle would not interfere with daily business activity. You see, with men, there is no so-called "natural" phenomenon that over takes the male body once a month causing a break in chores and activities. Originally, during the cycle time, women abstained from work and other daily functions. This break time due to menstruation was anywhere from 1-3 days at the most.
Menstruation is not abnormal in domesticated creatures in so-called civilization (which really means "slavery"). Just look at the house cat and dog. These creatures have a menstrual cycle, just like the social creature called woman.
For a human being, especially a mammal, to lose its vital life essence (blood) monthly, is not a natural occurrence. Blood exiting out of the body is not a natural thing. If a man goes to urinate and sees blood in his urine, he first screams in fear and then goes to the emergency room at the local hospital to see the doctor. Why? Because it's a sign that something is wrong (if a man does urinate blood, chances are he has prostate cancer).
The life of the flesh is in the blood. Even the Bible tells us this (Leviticus 17:11). The blood contains vital elements (minerals) necessary to maintain optimal health. The blood transports the various minerals to certain parts of the body so that certain organs may work and function optimally for the sake of the being. For example, calcium calms the nerves. Potassium ensures optimal nerve transmission. Iodine regulates and ensures optimal thyroid gland functioning and activity. Iron ensures hemoglobin and is now the major carrier of oxygen (taking over this duty from the mineral "gold" which we no longer use in our modern and degenerative states of existence as third dimensional beings). Now if the blood which carries these minerals throughout the body is being eliminated out of the body for the sake of ridding the female body of toxins and waste (which the colon and kidneys could easily perform), then the organs that need and depend on these vital elements are not going to get them and the result is going to be dis-ease or lack of good or optimal health (e.g. PMS [premenstrual syndrome]).
Take PMS for example; PMS is associated with mood swings, irritability of nerves, gas (flatulence), abdominal cramps, headaches, body spasms, short term memory loss, etc. Why? Because of a lack of nutrients or organ-specific foods to these areas for proper functioning. With blood saturated in the vaginal area during the menses and exiting via the vagina, the brain is not going to get the minerals carbon, copper, calcium and potassium (at least the amount it requires). Calcium is a calmative (calming agent). It calms you down. Do you know why the animals who graze on grasses like oats, alfalfa, barley, wheat, and gotu kola are so calm? Because they contain high amounts of calcium. Animals know that God made the grass to grow for their benefit and good health. The Book of Psalms clearly tells us that, "He causeth the grass to grow for cattle,..." Do you know why elephants are said to have good memories? Because they graze on gotu kola, an herb that enhances mental acuity and stamina. Therefore, female elephants do not experience episodes of short term memory loss (nor do they develop Alzheimer's Disease as the herb gotu kola contains bio-aluminum [organic aluminum] which attracts harmful, man-made aluminum which causes Alzhiemer's in the first place, and rids it from the body via the blood).
With blood leaving the body during the menses, the nerves are not going to get its needed amount of potassium for proper nerve transmission. The thyroid gland (a major factor in weight gain and loss) is not going to get the necessary amount of iodine it needs to regulate body weight. And with a major loss of iron, a trace element, anemia is going to undoubtedly occur and cause a host of ill-effects such as dizziness, weakness, nausea, fatigue, frigidity (or feeling excessively cold), and brittle fingernails.
During the menstrual cycle, the female body is going to saturate the blood supply in the vaginal area to help with the menstrual cycle, and as a result, necessary minerals will not be transported in the amount needed by the other body organs and members. These minerals that are lodged in the vaginal area during the menstruation will come out in bulk in the "white" stage (leukorrheac discharge). Yes, that white discharge commonly referred to as "leucorrhea," is full of nutrition (that nutrition which did not make the grade doing the menstrual cycle). The white discharge is considered healthy or normal due to its high mineral content and non-smelly or foul odor, whereas and in contrast to an irritating, pruritic, copious, foul-smelling green or yellow discharge, which indicates vaginal or uterine infection or other pathogenic conditions of gynecologic origin. (See Mosby's Medical, Nursing, and Allied Health Dictionary, 3rd edition, "leucorrhea.")
So PMS is due to mineral deficiency, and not a curse by God on females. Medical logic suggest that PMS can be cured or corrected by counteracting mineral deficiency by giving the body more minerals before, during, and after the menstrual cycle. The best source of these minerals is raw, organic foods (fruits and vegetables) and herbs. And remember, your body has nerves that connect to every organ in your body. The gas pockets in the colon explode and press against other nerves sites in the colon (which contain 360 nerve crystals) and cause a host of other problems, especially headaches.
It is reported that the African women kidnapped and brought to America during the American slavery period (1555-1863) did not have a menstrual cycle, but a period. Yes, they only had a little drop of blood the size of a small dot, which is why it was called a "period," that mark we make and utilize in the English language, but which is now associated with the menstrual "cycle." The term "cycle" is now a synonym for the word "period."
We find support of the disease nature of the menstrual cycle in the Bible in the story of Jesus healing the woman who had an issue of blood for twelve years. This account is detailed in the Book of Mark. Many Christian reverends, who do not apply or understand metaphysics, construe this issue of blood as a cut on the woman's body that Jesus healed, but if these ignorant Christian reverends understood medical logic, science, and fact, they would know that no human being can bleed for more than a period of 12 hours without dying! If a person bleeds for 12 hours straight, we all know what happens, except for our blind Christian pastors, especially the Negro ones. We read in Mark, Chapter 5, Verses 25-34, the following: "And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse. When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole. And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up: and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, ‘Who touched my clothes?" And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitudes thronging thee, and sayest thou, who touched me? And he looked round about to see her that had done this thing. But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what she done in her, came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth. And he said unto her, ‘Daughter, they faith had made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague."
Now why do you think this woman's issue of blood that lasted for twelve years was called a "plague?" Well, what is a "plague?" The word "plague" is defined as: 1. A widespread affliction or calamity. 2. A cause of annoyance; nuisance. 3. A highly infectious, usu. fatal epidemic disease, esp. bubonic plague. (The American Heritage Dictionary, 3rd edition, Office Edition, pg. 633).
Do not most American females feel afflicted, annoyed, or nuisanced during their menstrual cycle? The answer is yes! Why do you think they take pharmaceutical drugs like Midol® during their cycle? For fun? Hell no! They are in pain or feel afflicted. Many or most of them (females) are not the same during this time, and they will tell you so, like they have told me so. They become very grouchy and irritated. Many will tell you that they are a "bitch" during this time and to leave them alone and/or don't say a word to them, lest they slap you or punch you in the face. Why do they become like this? It is because of the calamity or the plague, as the Bible calls it.
In analyzing the Mark 5:25-34 story or parable of the woman with an issue of blood for twelve years, we must apply spiritual or metaphysical hermaneutics and exigesis. Number one, the issue of blood lasting twelve years could be no other than the menstrual cycle. It could not be a form of blood cancer (leukemia) as cancer kills usually within six months to three years. It could not have been a bleeding sore on the body because nobody can bleed daily and nonstop for twelve years. The touching of Jesus' garments is a metaphor or spiritual symbolical meaning or action referring to Jesus' lifestyle. A garment is what protects or covers you. Likewise, a righteous and wholistic lifestyle covers and protects you (from sickness, disease, slavery, and premature death). The woman touching Jesus' garment meant that the woman touched (practiced) Jesus' way of living. The "fountain of her blood" referred to her vagina. And clearly, her "faith" (in being cured by a righteous and Essenic lifestyle) made her whole (at ease and not dis-eased). It is important to note that the parable begins by saying that she suffered (took) many things of physicians (drugs) and had spent all that she had. If her issue was in fact a wound on the skin as most Negro Christian reverends suggests, a physician would have had knowledge to bandage up the wound in order to put pressure on the wound so as to stop the profuse bleeding.
Moving on in our subject matter, if menstruation is necessary and natural, and serves to expel or eliminate toxins from the female body on a monthly basis, why then does the menstrual cycle stop or go away during pregnancy? Does a toxic woman automatically become clean or nontoxic because of pregnancy? Of course not! So why does the menses halt? The answer lies in the fact of the body's intelligence knowing that a new life is forming in the flesh and that the body will need extra nutrition for the building blocks of the new life. The body knows it loses these building blocks (minerals) during menstruation, so the body's intelligence prevents the body from menstruating once conception takes place. So what about the process of eliminating toxins? How does the female body throw off toxins during pregnancy? The female body will utilize the first trimester (or first three months) to eliminate toxins from the mother host body via "morning sickness." I don't have a clue as to why this activity is called "morning sickness" because women will suffer through this sickness throughout the day - morning, noon, and night; - something to make you think about! Women will throw up (vomit, regurgitate) to help get the body clean for the baby to develop in. Some females are so toxic, that the body will dump most of the toxins from the uterine area in to the liver, which causes or manifests "eclampsia," which is liver toxicity during pregnancy. Taking synthetic and harmful pharmaceutical drugs euphemistically called "prenatal tabs" (made with horse manure, bitumen, and coal tar) and inorganic sources of "iron" (which is derived from rusted metals such as railroad tracks) will greatly play a role in eclampsia. This synthetic and deadly "iron" [ferrous fumate and sulfate] is the cause of constipation and bloated feeling in pregnant women. Pharmaceutical companies mix this inorganic iron (humans require "organic" or "living" iron from plant sources) with inorganic sulphur. The injurious effects of inorganic mineral sulphur however, is caused by its affinity for iron and also its destruction of ferments and enzymes, and by its generation of sulphurous and sulphuric acids within the organism. It steals the iron from food and blood, forming sulphide of iron which constipates and dries up the several secretions of the digestive tract. It also steals nascent hydrogen from the fluids and tissues forming sulphuranhydride or sulphureted hydrogen. Women, this is the cause of the foul smelling gas you expel and have been revolted at, which is always given off by decaying organic matter, animal and vegetable. It is the smell of rotten eggs, putrid sores, fecal matter, and decaying flesh.
Should menstruating women engage in sexual intercourse? For health and hygiene reasons, I say no, especially if a woman is lying on her back. My reasoning is this - like the rectum, the female vagina has a "downward" spiral energy. Most eliminative channels have a downward, spiral energy (e.g. colon, kidneys). While in the sex act, the male penis strokes in and out while inside the vagina. As menstruation is a cleansing time, expelling toxins and waste from the female body, waste and toxins traveling down the vagina to the exit or opening of the vagina will eventually be pushed back up into the uterine area by the stroking male penis, and especially if a man is stroking or penetrating hard, fast, and deep with his sex organ. This is something to think about. Plain and simple, it is unhygienic and unhealthy and poses a serious health risk.
In closing, what can a female do to offset the side effects of the "plague" (menses)? The answer is found in the Bible in Psalms 104:14. It clearly states, "He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth." Plain and simple!
To replenish the body of the necessary nutrients (minerals), consume herbs such as alfalfa, sheep sorrel, suma, rooisbos, rose hips, watercress, parsley leaf, moringa or karela seed, barley grass, wheat grass, nettle leaf, and spinach leaf. These herbs provide almost every mineral the body needs.
Also, consume sea weeds such as kelp, dulse, spirulina, chlorella, Irish Moss, bladderwrack, Blue-Green Algae, Iceland Moss, and red marine algae. Sea weeds are the best and most nutritious foods you can eat, and provide your body with everything you need (oxygen, minerals, protein, etc.) and are an excellent source of organic "iodine" (thyroid gland food).
Natural sources rich in "iron" include: yellow dock root, burdock root, dandelion root, elderberries, red raspberry leaf, rooibos, and mullein leaf. Green vegetables such as parsley, greens, chives, and spinach are also great sources of iron. Blackstrap molasses (unsulphured) also provides a good amount of iron.
Natural sources of "calcium" include: comfrey root (don't believe the hype about liver toxicity), oatstraw, horsetail, and red raspberry leaf. All green leafy vegetables are good sources of calcium (if you juice or lightly steam them).
Herbs to coagulate the blood and stop excessive bleeding include: goldenseal, cranesbill (alum root), dragon's blood, manjistha, musta, shepherd's purse, lady's mantle, yarrow, cayenne, Solomon's seal, barberry, and heal-all herb.
Herbs to regulate and normalize the menstrual cycle and flow include: maca, black cohosh, blue cohosh, dong quai, mugwort, red raspberry leaf, wild yam root (best and highest source of natural progesterone), squawvine, false unicorn, chaste tree berries, lycii fruit, red clover tops (best and highest source of natural estrogen), licorice root, sarsaparilla, and angelica.
Herbs that counteract menstrual cramping and spasms include: beth or birth root, crampbark, fennel seed, anise seed, and wild yam root.
Herbs that counteract menstrual related pain and headaches include: white willow bark, black willow bark, feverfew, meadowsweet, birch bark, wood betony, wild lettuce, peppermint, wintergreen, and woodruff.
Herbs that help soothe the nerves during the menstrual cycle include: nerve root or lady's slipper, kava kava, jatamansi, valerian root, lavender flower, passionflower, hops, skullcap, chamomile, and linden flower.
Herbs that give energy for fatigue during the menstrual cycle include: ginseng (all species), ashwagandha, schizandra berries, jiwanti, yerba mate, green tea, suma, codonopsis bark, kola or bissey nut, and guarana seed.
Herbs for mental stimulation during the menstrual cycle include: gotu kola, gingko biloba, bringraj, ashwagandha, ginseng, holy or blessed thistle, kola or bissey nut, yerba mate, and guarana seed.
Herbs that counteract constipation during the menstrual cycle include: senna leaves and pods, cascara sagrada, buckthorn, aloe vera resin, rhubarb root, jalap root, bibitaki, mandrake, black walnut hulls, poke root, slippery elm bark, Irish moss, guar gum, acacia gum, and psyllium Husks.
Herbs that strengthen the uterus during the menstrual cycle include: ashoka, squawvine, false unicorn, pumpkin seed, cocculus root, and saw palmetto.
Natural remedies to counteract breast soreness and tenderness during the menstrual cycle include: (oils) [internally and externally] evening primrose oil, borage oil, black currant oil; (externally – massaged into breasts) olive oil, coconut oil, shea butter, sweet almond oil, avocado oil, grapefruit seed oil, rose hip seed oil; (essential oils that can be added to breast massage oil) fennel seed oil, clary sage, grapefruit peel oil, and rosemary; (herbs) saw palmetto berries, honeysuckle flower, red raspberry leaf, red clover tops, yew tips, poke root, wild indigo, and red root.
Herbs that counteract eclampsia during pregnancy include: white peony bark, deer tongue herb, milk thistle seeds, dandelion root, burdock root, carbon (activated charcoal), uva ursi, grapevine leaf, and Oregon grape.
Djehuty Ma'at-Ra is an herbalist and researcher located in the Glendale area of Los Angeles, California and can be reached via e-mail at djehutym@juno.com
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The Internet is flooded with websites promoting penis enlargement devices, pills, and techniques. Penis enlargement products can range in price from about $30 to over $1000, but are you really getting what you pay for?
Pills
A product once promoted by a Penthouse Playmate called Longitude proposed that men ingest two of its capsules per day for a larger penis. After one to three weeks, a small increase in penis length and girth was to be expected. During weeks four through eight, the user was to expect a noticeable thickness in the erect and flaccid state. Week nine promised that you will be both thicker and longer (1 inch or more). There was a supposed 30-day money back guarantee for the unsatisfied customer. (I just want to make it clear that this article was written a few years ago and I never tried any of these products. I have updated this article and am bringing this update for continued awareness from an unbiased perspective.)
One of the marketing schemes that Longitude used was the fact that all of its ingredients were all natural and completely safe. The ingredients were as follows: Zinc, 300 Yohimbe, Maca, Catuaba, Muira Puama, Oyster Meat, L-Arginine, Oat Straw, Nettle Leaf, Cayenne, Pumpkin Seed, Sarsaparilla, Orchic Substance, Licorice Root, Astragalus, Tribulus, Boron, and Ginseng.
After reviewing all of the literature on Longitude's ingredients, I made one conclusion: There was no substantial evidence suggesting that it actually worked. The majority of studies done on each of its ingredients, excluding zinc, arginine, and ginseng, had been conducted on laboratory animals such as rats. In addition, only one or two studies were related to sexual function. It appeared that Longitude worked by stimulating erection, not growth.
The company was able to cover this claim easily because the product did what it said it would: increase penis size 1", 2", even 3". Your penis will most likely increase to that size from the flaccid state, especially if stimulated. This was a clever way to market the product because the company never lied to the consumer, only mislead them.
Considering that the product took at least 60 days to exert its full effects, the 30-day money back guarantee didn't even make sense. Plus, the fact that you would be monitoring your penis size daily would have most likely lead to results that were not there. In the end, the company was shutdown and penis advertisements on television have become scarce.
Penis Pumping
Another product marketed to consumers is the Dr. Joel Kaplan vacuum system. The advertisement suggests that it has been FDA approved for penis enlargement. Don't be fooled. The FDA approval is only for its use as an aid to cure erectile dysfunction (not being able to get an erection). This claim has misled consumers thinking that it is proven to increase penis growth. You may experience short-term growth because you are sucking more blood into the penis. However, this may be a risky thing to do.
Surgery
As of now, the only guaranteed way to increase the size of your penis is through cosmetic surgery, followed by stretching exercises. The downside to this is the risk of damage to the nerves surrounding the area resulting in loss of erectile function; or even worse, an oddly shaped penis. The surgery is quite costly, and is still considered in the experimental stage.
Good research has not been conducted in the area of penis enlargement techniques. As of now, there are no supplements that one can take to actually increase penis growth per se. Viagra and Cialis are available for men who lack the ability to achieve and sustain an erection. Most supplements marketed as penis enlargement enhancers use the same principle. The only difference is that they use herbal extracts that have been used in Third World countries for the same thing. The results are not as significant and may pose a threat to health, given the lack of FDA regulation. Aphrodisiacs and stimulants are added to supplements in hopes of increasing libido and producing a harder and firmer erection.
Although some products on the market may show short-term benefits in regards to penis enlargement, there is no quick fix to the problem that many men encounter everyday. Research has shown that the average penis size in the flaccid state is 3.9 inches. Erect state averages between five and seven inches. One of the concerns that men have is that the size of their penis in the flaccid state is too small. Showering with other men in the locker room can lead to embarrassment and the feeling of inadequacy.
Advertisement of penis enlargement devices will continue to plague the American market. What you must be aware of is the fact that nothing, besides surgery, will permanently increase the size of your penis. Surgery has many dangers associated with it, and the risks far exceed the benefits. Don't waste your money, or risk injuring yourself for something of this magnitude.
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22 March, l968
As it turned out, Johnny would visit Jill’s room off and on during the following weeks. And that strange woman that left the Belmont’s room brought along another woman, and on occasion, he’d catch her on her way down the steps and invite her into his room, although she’d had preferred ‘Jill,’ so she said.
Tasma was not aware of most of this, but a little. Also, she had received at this time several letters from home by her parents, in particular her father, but she did not respond back. She was not certain what to say, she loved them, and Jill assured them she was fine, but it was too stressful for her to talk or write them. She did have a profound desire to please her father, and wishful thinking to please her mother, but it seemed she needed to learn how to please herself first, and to Jill, she did not blame them for anything, not anymore anyway. And had she started a communicational dialogue, they may have persuaded her to return, the one thing she did not want at this time.
—Jill was in the kitchen—the ironing board was pulled out from an inner-cabinet built into the wall, a wall-unite if you will, it was kept snugly in, in which there was a door attached to it; Jill was ironing Tommy and Johnny’s cloths, another lover circle had stared. Both were arranged in separate piles. Mrs. Belmont was sitting at the table talking seriously to her; it was most unusual thought Tasma, for seldom did she see Mrs. Belmont other than at the bar talking to Jill. As Tasma neared them to join them, the subject—whatever it was—changed, and what appeared on Mrs. Belmont’s face was an un-cheerful smile, not unusual, but quite sudden, and it was apparent. Consequently, feeling a little awkward she left the kitchen to work on her diary-novel (some poems), in the living room in her usual spot; in effect, she could overhear bits and pieces now of their conversation. It didn’t occur to her to get up and leave, rather the opposite; she actually pretended to be busy writing and was simply drawing a picture undiscernibly.
“It’s been going on for a while mom, I didn’t think it was, I mean it would end up like this.”
“Get rid of him, or all of them.”
“No, no, I don’t think Johnny will go so easy. He likes me, and thinks he can have me, and he has me of course.”
“What about Tommy?”
“I like him, I like him a lot, but that’s the problem, I don’t love him, I just like him.”
“He’s what you need though. He’s more anchored.”
[With scorn] “What the hell does anchored mean!” said Jill.
“Ok, ok, I could have used a better term, Tommy likes to work and go to school, he’ll be somebody someday.”
“Tommy doesn’t pay you a dime; Johnny does and Johnny works hard.”
“Yes, he works hard all right, hard at drinking, screwing you and god knows who else—smoking that weed.”
“So Tommy was screwing me and working.”
“You’re going to lose him to that cousin of yours if you don’t hang on to him.”
“Tasma,” she looked at Tasma reading, “you got to be kidding, she’s as naïve as a sparrow.”
“So you say: does a pineapple come from a pine tree?”
“No,” said Jill apprehensive, “now what does that mean?”
“She’s not the little girl she was three, four months ago, or is it five or more? She has a good shape, and pretty face, and if Tommy can’t see it, I can. And so can a lot of men at the bar. Anyhow, Tasma is not the issue, Johnny and Tommy are.”
(A long pause came, then with a cracking voice, and an almost whisper, she leaned over to her mother, and Tasma leaned over the arm of her chair): “I think I’m pregnant…”
“Ay caramba,” she said in a sigh that slurred all the way to Tasma’s ears, “…now what?”
“It’s Johnny’s, not Tommy’s, Tommy uses a rubber, and Johnny thinks it is not manly to do so.” It was momentarily hard for Jill to look her mother in the face; she was at this time, pacing the floor in a small circle as her mother followed her with her eyes.
“Listen Jill, Johnny’s drinking with all the gang members at the bar, and he’s gambling, it’s just a matter of time before he gets in trouble with them.” (Some of the gang members had motorcycles, others cars, it was somewhat an unofficial bunch of criminals, in that they were but twenty of them that hung out at a number of bars).
23 Shan’t be a Minute
Tasma found herself walking upstairs to her room, it was quieter in the kitchen, and figured, she had heard enough, a voice said, “Where are you going?” it was Jill, polite but to the point.
“Shan’t be a moment,” was her answer. She wanted to tuck away her diary-novel, she had written some exposing things in it. And so she tucked away, under her pillow, as if it was safe, and her place was off limits to others, which in presumption it seemed to be. For the most part, she did not want to leave it laying about for someone to pick up accidentally.
Life had seemed uncomplicated she thought, and now with Jill’s mother it seemed somewhat speculative, if not downright disjointed. It had now crossed her mind Tommy would find out the secret, the secret being Johnny’s behavior and her being pregnant, or so she said she was, and ‘I know about it,’ she felt as if she was a betrayer, be it to Jill or Tommy, or even Johnny. Down the stairway, into the living room she went. She looked outside through the bay-window and there was Mrs. Alice Whitehead getting into the car, she looked at Tasma, Tasma waved at her, she was a nice old lady, and it always seemed to her she had concern on her face for her.
As she turned around looking towards the kitchen she noticed Mrs. Belmont sorting out bills: ‘I suppose she’s done talking to Jill now,’ was her thinking.
“I talked to your mother a few days ago Tasma, she’s doing well and I told her likewise, you were doing well.” Tasma simply made a polite gesture, no verbal adjectives.
“I want to do something today, a surprise, come with me,” asked Tasma, for some odd reason something had popped into her head.
“What, may I ask, is on that devious mind of yours?” laughed Jill.
—Tasma and Jill were gone for several hours, and arrived back home at about 6:00 PM. Johnny and Tommy were sitting in the living room watching TV. As they both walked into the house, both the boys were somewhat taken back a bit at Tasma’s appearance—if not down right, star-struck. Her long reddish hair was cut to where it reached only the nape of her neck. And she was wearing more makeup than she had before, the result: she looked a little fresher and less school-girlish, than before. Thought Tommy, ‘…before she seemed more delicate and fragile..,’ as he glanced at the poise she displayed as she smiled and stood in the middle of the room awaiting the verdict of the two young throbbing hearts, the heart breakers themselves. Johnny noticed her slender bones, and her nicely shaped neck was more defined (front and back). Tommy for some reason noticed her neatly-set breasts, small as they were—just above her small waist they were a hand full no more. Yet her slyness somewhat removed, still left her with a harmless effect. Her nervousness was repressed for the most part.
Along with all that, with all the money she had saved up, she also purchased some bath salts, talcum powder and a small mirror, which she duplicated for Jill as a gift for allowing her to stay. She had spent her $100-dollars she had saved.
For some odd reason, Tasma had glanced back into the kitchen, expecting to see Mrs. Belmont, but of course was not surprised when she was not there, she usually would go to the bar around this time, either she had missed her, or she was in her room preparing to go. The boys looked at one another in jest, and laughed.
Said Johnny with his normal side joking way, “So now you’ve grown up, welcome to the real world kid, looks like you’re willing to join us.”
Tasma knew Johnny’s ways and knew that was better left alone.
“It makes you feel good,” commented Jill; meaning spending money on oneself for preservation purposes, or simply for a change in one’s life. But there was concern in Jill’s unseen eyes, in her cerebellum. She was no psychologist, like Skinner or Pavlov with his salivating dogs (who worked on association), but the boys were kind of salivating, restlessly slobbering might be a better way of putting it, if not downright uneasy, with this new Tasma look.
Everyone had gone to bed now, it was Jill’s turn to sit downstairs in the sofa-chair for once, wondering, thinking, not sure of her next move. ‘I just don’t get it,’ she asked herself, ‘why am I so attracted to Johnny, and going with Tommy? Tasma wouldn’t have the answer even if I asked her, nor mom, facts are facts, feelings are feelings, I don’t sense they are neither right or wrong, they just are. Johnny makes love as if he was a mad man and seems almost barbaric, and I think of him when I make love to Tommy—it’s just unthinkable. I wonder how Tommy’s new book will turn out. Can you love two people at once, at one time? A good question; I think I do, or maybe it is lust, how do I know, I’m just…(pause) will be nineteen in a month. Mom said: love is a choice. I say love is a feeling. I wonder what Tasma would say. I know Tommy feels love through his penis, like Johnny, all men do, kind of, sort of—most of the time; but Tommy is more willing to be dedicated, I think. I have learned men are attracted by looking, but I like touch.’
On her way to her bedroom, she stopped at Tasma’s room, knocked lightly, “Can I come in just for a moment?” she asked.
“Why sure you can,” answered Tasma with a thoughtful voice.
“I had a great day with you today, and thanks again for the things you bought me (this was a good lead-in she thought to bait her for a question to be soon asked), but I have a question, somehow I think you’re going to oversimplify the answer but I’ll ask it anyhow. How do you know if you’re in love with a person?”
Surprisingly, Tasma answered Jill with foreknowledge, “You mean you are having a hard time trying to figure who you want, Tommy or Johnny?”
(A tight look went over Jill’s face.) “Yes, yes, that is where I’m coming from; I didn’t know it was so obvious.”
“It’s becoming obvious Jill, it was the first day Johnny came through the door, and it has progressively taken a greater shape to it. But in regards to your answer, I’ve never been in love so I might be the wrong person to ask, but I do know this, as simple as it may be: if I wanted to go out with Johnny, I couldn’t be in love with Tommy—that much. I mean, I’d think whoever you were in love with—you’d not want to go out with anyone else; you’d kind of want to stop shopping around for another person, or so I believe. If I was to get married, I’d not want to go out with anyone else: and if I did, I’d know that I was not ready for marriage, to him or anyone, if that makes any sense.”
But to Jill it made all the sense in the world. She was sleeping with Tommy at night, and wanted to be with Johnny.
“What do you think I should do?” asked Jill.
“I think you already know; I don’t think I need to say anymore. My heart is with you, no matter what the outcome is.” Then Tasma hugged her tightly.
24 Reset
As the next two weeks passed a kind of silence took over the house, people talked less to one another, I suppose you could say, Jill was the life of the house, and now she was deep in thought. Everyone tried to keep busy and pretend things were normal, but they of course knew they were not. The Belmont’s kept their normal schedule, and the pretense lingered.
Tasma had finished up with Tommy’s book on San Francisco, and had explained to him how she liked the ending of ‘Bustling,’ by his fake name Colleen Grant; she commented to Tommy: “The younger woman fell in love with the older man, but she had psychological issues, and she was too fragile for him to care for her emotional illness, and he was too sick biologically for her to care for him. It was a sad ending I thought, but had they married: love would not have been enough, as they wished, they’d both had ruined the life of the other. Yet they remained friends as they parted, matter of fact they remained friends until he died at the age of eighty-years old, and her, at eighty-two.” She then read a poem she was working on for him: “I haven’t put it in my book or diary yet, but here it is I’ll read it to you from the paper (Tommy sat inquisitively on the edge of her bed):
The Maiden from Seattle
When she walked into the light The door to life, grew black as
Night, And her earth began to swell
(This youthful beauty of Seattle);
At first glance— Fell this youth from high Aching to touch the morning sky.
Who dare take this maiden’s hand? To help her though this silent land! Ah! From hair, to heart, to breast:
Like faded flowers in the ground Fleshless alms, could not be found, And so she remains—bound!
Said Tommy in surprise, “I like it, I think a little or maybe a lot of you is in the poem; I think you’re going to be a Mrs. Plath, or Dickinson some day.”
—The following day Tommy had come into Tasma’s room unexpectantly, “Are you still writing your story?” he asked.
She looked at Tommy, “Just some poems, and dairy notes, really haven’t gotten into the plot or theme of anything in particular yet; not sure how to get it going.”
“Let me see, maybe I can help you” he said. Yet Tasma was still bewildered of his rudeness to just kind of enter at will; she liked him and didn’t want to scare him away, on the other hand, she was not going to join any love-circle.
She leaped quickly to her pillow, then it dawned on her, she had much information in it about Johnny, Jill, Tommy and, none other but the: The Lady in Black, as she referred to her in the diary. But had she not jumped, she thought afterwards, had she not jumped she’d had not given away her hiding place, although it was no vault for sure—I mean, a mouse could have found it had it looked for it.
“I, I have too many personal things in it, private things, I’d rather you not see,” said Tasma as she currently held the book in the middle of her chest; as she got off the bed with her one knee, fully turning about now, she tripped on her shoe and the book fell, Tommy quickly grabbed it and opened it. Tasma saw him reading it, and needed to do something quick, she grabbed it out of his hands and jumped on the bed, her dress flying above her waist showing her underwear and all.
Somehow Tommy found the child in him, and jumped on her bed trying to grab the diary from her as they rolled around in the bed; now Tommy hovering over her, his legs between hers.
“What are you two up to?” questioned a voice in the background, it was Jill: she had heard the ruckus.
“My fault, I was trying to get her diary from her, I started to read something quite interesting,” he looked at Jill halfheartedly. Had he gone back any farther, thought Tasma: The Lady in Black was there.
Jill looked at Tasma in an indefatigably way, “I see I wasn’t invited to the party—”and slipped off to her bedroom where she just looked out the window aimlessly. In a way it didn’t bother her about what she’d seen, but on the other hand, she was jealous. When Tommy left the bedroom to join Jill he didn’t know whose child it was; he had only read up to ‘I overheard her say to her mother she was pregnant today by….” He could not ask Tasma to betray Jill, it would be too much to ask, if anything, Jill might be betraying him, it was indicative of her.
—In the following days, Tasma noticed Tommy and Jill fought quite a lot; and Tommy was not a person to be irritated easily, it must be that she was leading Tommy to believe it could be his child, Tasma thought. Then one evening she noticed Tommy sleeping on the coach, and Johnny still remaining in his bedroom.
During this interval, Johnny entertained himself in his bedroom, hoping Tommy and Jill would sort things out—thus he remained in kind of a queue, waiting for Jill’s signal to return, somehow he had come to that conclusion she would. He found himself pacing the floor at night, saying, ‘I wish, whatsitsname, would…’ and never ended the sentence.
—I must make this awkward at this point, his mind broke off the subject of Jill and Tommy after the first week, his insides became external. He looked at himself, pretending he was not feeling this serge; he had not guessed at this until it engulfed him, there was stern on his face—and, toil in his hand. A cold shower might work he thought, but it was too far away. He felt he was on a fast run; he hardened his body like a weightlifter, a boxer ready to take a punch.
This lasted two weeks, finally an agreement came about, Jill would sleep with Johnny, and Tommy would sleep in Johnny’s room, and in due time Tommy would have to leave, approximately in a few months, considering once she started to show it would only provoke issues within the household, or so she felt. The real problem was that Johnny did not have the heart to tell Jill he liked the way things were, and he really liked Lorie to a higher degree. He wanted his sex, but could find it elsewhere if need be, now he’d have to resort to living in her bedroom, and his alone time would be altered. In addition, Lorie was somewhat out of the picture for he had not seen her in weeks as he waited for this all to settle, but he’d see her again is what he was planning. Again, everything seemed in the air now. But to resist the plan would be too premature at the moment he deliberated out.
In spite of the tension, things appeared to move about on a regular base for a few more weeks. However, Johnny was starting to hang out with the gang more often now, with their motorcycles, and customized old cars. He was doing a lot more drinking and gambling with the gang members. They had even stopped on a few occasions at Jill’s house looking for Johnny, taking pains to find him, going out of their way it would seem. It came to her attention; Johnny owed them money, how much it wasn’t said (but it was close to $6,000-dollars). They’d not go to his work; it was one thing the groups forbid: that being, to endanger a man’s livelihood was not being a man at all. They could do almost anything else, even kill you, but not jeopardize your job: that was considered a low blow.
Out of nervousness, Tasma started to keep her distance from the group at the bar, if she could, she would have vanished into thin air.
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Sex is a taboo in many societies; people don’t discuss it overtly. However, this is an essential part of human life without which human existence on the earth is not possible. Satisfying each other’s sexual desires is an important obligation which must be fulfilled after marriage. There may be many psychological conditions under which a man can lose his capability of satisfying a woman. But most of the time it is the physical problem which restricts a man from sexually satisfying a woman.
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There can be a time in marital life when a partner loses his or her libido; when this happens in a man he loses the capability of erection of penis. This problem is known as erectile dysfunction (ED). There is no age limit for erectile dysfunction to affect the body. It can occur in early young age or in mature part of the life. Erectile dysfunction is very embarrassing for a man; generally he never tells about his condition because of shame. The common myth, “erectile dysfunction occurs because of masturbation” also restricts him to discuss his problem with appropriate person.
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Nitric Oxide (NO) booster supplements have quickly become the hottest selling products on the market. With more and more concern over the long term use and side effects of pro hormones and steroid precursors (not to mention their tenuous legal status), many bodybuilders are looking for alternatives.
In 1998, Doctors Robert F Furchgott, Louis J Ignarro and Ferid Murad won the Nobel Prize for Science when their research proved that Nitric Oxide was "a signalling molecule in the cardiovascular system". Their research proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that elevated levels of NO played a role in numerous bodily functions. Dr Ignarro has even been quoted "Nitric Oxide deficiency can contribute to nearly every major disease of our times". Two of the benefits of NO in the body are the relaxation and dilation (enlargement) of blood vessels and also tissue repair.
Nitric Oxide is produced in the body by the amino acid L-Arginine. The problem however is that the average person only gets enough L-Arginine in their daily diet to cover the basic bodily functions. This is where NO boosters have become popular. These products are based on L-Arginine in the form of Alpha Ketogluterate. This form of L-Arginine is more bio-available so it is utilized more efficiently in the body.
BSN, a leading manufacturer of nutritional supplements developed their product "Nitrix" primarily for the bodybuilding community. After the Nobel Prize winning research, that clearly proved the effects of elevated NO levels, BSN realized that this blood vessel dilation effect could have numerous benefits. The first thing Nitrix users will notice after a week or two is better "pumps" and increased vascularity when working out. "The Pump" is when a muscle that is being worked through heavy weight training becomes engorged with blood and gets bigger and harder. Additionally, Nitrix increases vascularity. Bodybuilders love seeing forearms and biceps that have huge, clearly defined veins bulging.
One of the other benefits that users report with Nitrix is better recovery from their training. Since blood vessels are bigger, nutrients and blood flow are shuttled throughout the body more readily
So are there any downsides to Nitrix? Well, side effects that have been reported are few but some people who take more than the recommended dose of Nitrix have reported stomach upset. It is important to take the dose suggested.
While it's not necessarily a side effect, another downside to Nitrix is the size of the tablets. They are rather large and since you need to take 3 at a time, it can be bothersome to some people.
